Breakfast in America

So it's been a long while since I posted - I'm blaming the relocation blues which of course incorporate arguing with relocators, "What? I told you to ship it six weeks ago!" and filling out forms in triplicate "You need my blood group? For a train ticket?!"

As you can imagine, I've been busy.

Now of course, I'm fairly settled.

In many ways you know exactly what to expect of the US - everything is 'drive thru', food portions are as big as your head and no-one understands more than half of what I say. Still, I had to laugh when I saw the sign for the drive thru bank. In my mind it is to the US what the drive thru liquor store/bottle shop/off licence is to Australia and is equally indicative of the nations psyche.

I have to say that I'm scared by the coffee here.

I kid you not, but a wonderful, intelligent friend I have here is mortified to admit that up until fairly recently, he believed that coffee beans came naturally in French Vanilla and Hazelnut varieties. That there might be a plantation or two, carefully selecting Vanillaesque coffee beans for Dunkin Donuts is an idea I find hilarious and terrifying! The very smell of French Vanilla Coffee 'brewing' brings bile to the back of my throat.

All of this presents me with a problem. Anyone who knows me will know that I am a vile evil bastard until I've imbibed my first caffeine fix in the morning. Where do I go to get it here?

Starbucks. I almost have a hard time typing it, let alone reading it back to myself!

Yet it's true. I know that they under-roast the beans, burn the coffee,allow you to bastardise it with whipped cream, syrups in forty different flavours, pumpkin spice or gingerbread and hilariously call the sizes Tall, Grande and Venti to convey some sort of European pedigree and yet every day I trudge in, headphones frying my one awake braincell and before I can even order it (they know my daily ritual now- I am MORTIFIED to admit) have scrawled my 'Double Latte with Whole Milk' order on the side of a tall (err small?) paper cup. And even if there were an alternative to this over propagating green goblin of the coffee world, it's too late: I am now officially addicted. I even have the card you put cash onto so I don't have to pay each day.

There is however, one saving grace: The Toasted Cream Cheese Bagel. Every morning I order the same thing - I really do think my brain is unable to think for itself at this time of the morning and I go into autopilot - toasted, warm, chewy and heavenly.

I want to say "If only the coffee was this good", but it's too late ,I have to admit, I can't get to 10.30 without it!

Tell me something new and exciting...

So each day at around 4.30, my brain shuts down for the day, only to be reactivated by Facebook or Blogspot. Quite often I'm known to spin around in my chair and shout at random passers by "tell me something new and exciting!"

Over the past few weeks this has turned into something of a competition with daily recognition for 'best individual team member contribution' and also a weekly nomination for 'outstandingly exciting new information'.

It's often a mixed bag. Solly Pombo, the fabulous English accented Spanish 'chick' I'm lucky enough to sit next to (hey I ain't moved to the US yet - chick is totally acceptable here -didn't I say I was stuck in a 50's time-warp?), has entered the following over the last week or so:

1. I'm going to see Miss Saigon - OK, it was new in that I didn't know, but I told her 'nil points' - with Eurovision accent - for exciting. Miss Saigon should be consigned to it's tragic 20th Century past.
2. Hed Kandi is coming to Australia - New AND exciting - she won that day.
3. I'm having my eyeballs lasered - New, exciting and kinda kookilly intriguing on the process front - she would have won except Silvia beat her to it that night with her only entry...

Which was..?

• I'm going Sky Diving. Silvia is often out of the office explaining her lack of entries, however she won that day and has yet to be beaten in the overall contest which runs until I leave in August.

Current second place for the overall prize of 'most new and exciting individual ever' is held by Yudit, my boss. She is having her mid-back-length hair chopped Edward Scissorhands stylee on Friday with a shrug and a "I'm bored, do what you like Mr Hairdresser" attitude. I like her new and exciting style.

But hey, I wanna open this up to the masses for the possibility of a 'viewers prize'. Simply tell me something New AND Exciting for your chance to win the title of 'New and Exciting Outsider'. Send you answers to the comments board on a stamped addressed envelope.

Leaving on a jetplane..!

Well the decision has been made - finally!
I am off to Chicago as of late August - typically a date has yet to be set, but at least I know roughly when lol

Here's to the land of Oprah, Ferris and The Chicago Bears (both sorts).

The next few weeks will be hectic - you forget when you relocate that there's the packing, endless rounds of catch-ups and coffees, packing, tossing out of old things you haven't seen/used in years, packing, setting up of new bank accounts, gathering of paperwork for social security numbers, unpacking to find the one thing you can't wait until you arrive there for, re-packing and teary goodbyes to go through.

I can't wait.
Err Dan, about that flight to London I booked...

Starting to fear

'S funny but until now I'd been able to shrug off the war on terror as being something 'they' dreamed up to keep us afraid. While terrorists were car-bombers in foreign cities or young militants raging against a world they'd yet become part of I was able to believe that the fabric of our western society would remain firm.
When I heard that the 2005 London tube bombings were perpetrated by a home-grown cell I believed that these young men had been led astray by militant peers, that they weren't representative of the Muslim Majority and that the British Public would see this. After all did we walk around scowling at every Irishman in the 80's and 90's? No. I went to a mostly Irish Catholic school and it never crossed my mind that my classmates parents for all their singing of Irish Republican folk songs, might be making car bombs for an evening's entertainment.
Talking to my Aussie counterparts I was able to laugh at Sydney being on 'high alert' during Summer 2004 - the Harbour Bridge and city with it's lights turned off at night as a deterrent.
Yet now I'm not laughing. The current wave of near miss attacks were perpetrated by Doctors. Was there ever a more likely representative for the assimilated emigre than that of the doctor - educated, intellectual, rational and middle class. If any person was more likely to be perceived as buying into our western values surely this was it. Of course this complacency becomes a weakness waiting to be exploited.
While not home grown, this new cell raises the greatest threat to our society - that suddenly everyone is a potential threat - as long as they have a certain skin tone: Suddenly class, social standing and profession no-longer exclude from suspicion. Margaret Thatcher said there was no such thing as society, and yet for all her efforts, she was largely unable to dissolve it from the remnants of our medieval consciousness - the last ten years have seen a return to society focused values, despite any remnants of that 'me and mine' era. And yet slowly but surely, the boundaries of our societies draw closer, smaller and we begin to exclude people from our circles of trust.
Yes, the threat is real enough; not that our society will be torn apart by bombs, but by the idea that we are no longer a cohesive whole, rather a collection of fragmented groups with no shared concept of values and no shared future.
http://www.independent.co.uk/
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/crime/article2730423.ece

Ten Reasons to stay

So if I'm fair, I'm gonna give Sydney a crack at retaining me. Here's my ten reasons to stay in OZ.

1. Daisy my dog - if I leave I'm leaving her with Garth - splitting them up would be too reminiscent of the opening to the Colour Purple, lots of weeping and wailing and Garth doing weird solo hand clapping routines!


2. Every May as Cold rolls in with his best mates Rain and Overcast, I ask myself why is it I live in Sydney, after all I hate Prawns and have never got off on getting sand in the crack of my arse while risking the perils of the shark infested waters of Bondi. Of course, by October when Summer looms I fall in love with Sydney all over again. The Summer here is glorious and lasts for six months of the year (well to an Englishman anyway).


3. Emma. What more can I say. My sister has helped me through some of the most traumatic times of my life and is my spiritual rock. Leaving her behind will be like losing a limb. She's my life support system and it's been way too good just knowing she's around the corner.
4. Err, Asia. I'm sure that if I stayed in Australia it would be a fabulous hub to visit lots of Asian cities I've yet to explore. After all haven't I always said I wanted to tour Asia? No. I haven't. This fourth reason sucks. As wo0uld the fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, etc. So I'm going to stop.

Clearly with only four reasons and even with three of them major drawcards, there's still no competiton. Ashby is out of here, but where to..?

Ten Reasons to Leave Part II (or why I should move to Chicago)

Well the other option on my list is Chicago - My boss when hearing of my itchy feet suggested going over to the States and developing our L&D option over there as we don't have any. Sounds good, or does it...

Here are ten reasons to go...

1. The American Football team are called the Chicago Bears; the Baseball Team The Chicago Cubs - is this not a sign?




2. Chicago is an architecturally GORGEOUS city - Frank Lloyd Wright designed a whole village nearby and Chicago is very clean and friendly.




3. It's an hour and a half away from NYC only five hours from Vancouver and eight from London




4. I have friends in NYC




5. I get to live in a suburb called 'Lincoln Park"



6. My Mate Jonathan will come and stay



7. The rent is cheaper than NYC, standard of living is great, they have a big fat lake and a beach and all the snow you can eat



8. It's a city rich in history - the underground railroad terminated here making it a city with a rich afro-american history, think jaaaaaaaaazz baby!
   


9. Oprah lives there
   


10. John Howard doesn't live there.

Tomorrow I figure I should give Sydney a shot at retaining me... ten reasons to stay I wonder?

Ten Reasons to Leave Part (or why I should move to London) (or why should I move back to London?)

So I've decided to leave Sydney - the choices are interesting - top of the list is a return to old blighty. With several loved ones there already and lots of others migrating back, I though I'd make a list of reaons to go...

1. Sydney is currently cold, grey and miserable: ok this only lasts for two months of the year, but inevitably when it gets like this it immediately comes to mind that thanks to Global Warming, London is scorcio right now.




2. For four days out of seven last week, when telling a friend that I might be moving to London, they responded, "err me too. See you there?"


3. Kendra is gravid with child.


4. Kate Lascelles is moving there with her amazing man, Ben.


5. London is only 6 hours from NYC and is still closer to Vancouver than Sydney.


6. I get cheap accomodation with my wondeful little sis Kirsch - so not only is it cheap, but I'll get to spend time with her too - Kirsch are you reading this?)


7. There are lots of men in London on 'dirty homo' cruising websites I have never met. Sydney has the same faces I see every Friday night *sighs*


8. I will be able to earn more money, pay less taxes and therefore save money towards a final move to Canada quicker than if I stay in Sydney.


9. John Howard


10. John Howard

Holiday 2007: Day 4 NYC: Flying High

There's really only one way to see Manhattan and that's from above.

Sure we saw it from the Queens Bridge (not really its name but it goes to Queens) on our way in and from the Brooklyn Bridge (really is its name and guess what, it goes to Brooklyn), and the skyline was impressive. However, if you want to get a sense of the size and majesty of this city, you need to buckle up and see it from 600 feet.


Jonathan and I were lucky in that he got the front seat and I got the left hand rear seat - when you travel round Manhattan Island in an anti-clockwise direction, believe me it makes all the difference. The two English boys on the opposite side saw a whole lot less.

We saw all the hallmark NYC standouts - the Empire State, The Chrysler building, The UN, The Statue of Liberty, Yankee Stadium and Trump Tower. Yeah, I never thought of Trump Tower as an NYC landmark, but Jonathan loved it.

BTW all the pics are Jonathan's. This is because a) I didn't have a camera, b) I can't take a good pic for love or money and c) I have the attention span of a gnat - besides, he got some GREAT pics of NYC!

After the helicopter tour we wandered up into the city from the docks and towards Ground Zero.
I must admit the idea of taking a 'tour' of Ground Zero smacks of commercialism in the extreme. I'm all for keeping the memory alive and I think that's beyond important, however 'taking a tour' just sounds wrong to me.
Instead we went and peered through the wire into what is still a cavernous building site and examined the names of heroes on the plaque dedicated to their memory. I'm sitting here trying to get this down and words fail me. Two weeks later I'm still overcome. I think in many ways that day represented the worst and best of humanity.

So next we walked through the city - grabbed pizza from a tiny, pokey pizza place that served THE BEST PIZZA I EVER DID TASTE. I kid you not. Divine. - and headed up to the United Nations building - not actually that far from our Pod.

Once you clear security you enter a large hall showing the "International Press Photography Awards" and immediately you're overcome by the very reason why the UN even exists.Pictures of genocide, starvation and violence coincide with global sporting events, stories of courage; peoples rebuilding societies and hope.


If you get the chance to visit - go. We saw where it all happens, the General Assembly - we sat in on part of a debate, the Security Council - we couldn't go in as it was in session; and how it happens, the areas the UN works in and how it structures its resources. There were moving images all around, whether it was a cabinet containing various types of landmine or the statue taken from Hiroshima that had fallen over in the blast:


While the front is preserved where it lay in the dirt, the back of the stone statue is pitted and bubbled. Hearing our guide explain how a Japanese visitor had seen it and said "oh that happened to me" before showing her his back left me stunned, uncertain what had affected me most, the measured delivery of her story or the visual representation of what happened to stone in the blast and therefore the implied impact on humans caught in the destruction.


Visiting the UN had a similar effect to Ground Zero. I was overcome by a sense of possibility, pride in our species that we could come together to conceive of such a noble enterprise and yet at the same time futility. The UN's resolutions are generally non-legally binding for Member States. While they may agree to partake in UN resolutions, if they then chose to rescind or ignore the resolution in the first place there is no repercussion.

We only have to look at the invasion of Iraq to see this in effect.

33 at last - Jesus Year!

Yesterday was my birthday, I turned 33. Apparently this is Jesus Year - the age Jesus was when he died, but also the year of his life when he did most of his work. If you Google "Jesus Year" there's someone that describes it as 'the year you do your best work and get crucified for it' - nice.

My friend Kate describes it as a year of transition, when new things come your way and you see changes in yourself and your perspective. She's a year older than me - I should ask her what she thought of it and if it was true. As I fly to Singapore tomorrow to see her I might just do that.

Allegedly there's some relevance to your 33rd year in Buddhism and also Hinduism, bit I'm buggered if I can find any reference to either online - so if u know of any feel free to leave comments.

As I'm relocating back to the UK this year (90% certain thats the destination at the moment) and focusing on writing you never know, this year could just be the year I do my best work. Here's hoping I don't get crucified for it!

Is it true that too much sun causes mental impairment?

I ask the question because of yet another Yahoo poll I saw today.
The question: Which should be the priority Global warming OR Australia's Economy?

Now you'd think that Australians would be one of the most aware countries when it came to global warming. Every year the drought lasts longer. Farmers committing suicide due to their loss of livelihood are no longer reported as 'News'. It was only April of this year that it was announced that conditions in South Australia had got so bad that a further eight weeks of drought would lead to irrigation being banned in the region: essentially, Australia's Bread Basket - Barren. A case of old Mother Hubbard if ever there was one.


It was international news making the front pages of Newspapers all over the world.

Fortunately rains came two weeks off from the deadline. However you would hope that Australia would see this as a reason to change current practices.


Surely Global Warming is intrinsically tied to Australia's economy?
In fact if Global Warming continues as it is, how many years does Australia have before it has to import it's basic necessities? How soon will we be importing water - already Queensland are discussing building pipelines to redistribute water from areas of abundance to areas of dense population and even then plans would alleviate current need - when they're completed will they match the need at that time?

So imagine my surprise at the results of the poll:
Global Warming 47%
Australian economy 53%

Another victory for John Howard's Thatcheristic rhetoric. Another loss for the Australia environment.

Holiday 2007: Day 2/3 NYC - The city that never sleeps... well unless you're a 'Mo!

Things get cloudy after a while and you realise time related facts through a foggy haze, like the fact that I went out in NYC the FIRST night I was there, met Martin and Richard etc that night and that the Guggenheim and Natural History Museum were actually on the SECOND day.

Serves me right - I should have blogged this during the holiday like any good diarist could tell me. But hey.

So this blog is really about Day 3 NOT day 2. Confused? You will be... yoooou wiill beeeee....


So Sunday began with a hangover coz I'd been out with My Mate Nick - English boy I've been talking to online for four years - who had suggested I to go to Furball.
Furball is kind of odd. It took place in the Lesbian and Gay community centre in Chelsea - or it may have been Greenwich Village, kinda hard to remember - hey it was a beer fuelled night!

Either way I was having flash backs to the first event of its type I ever attended back at the tender age of 19 - they'd decorated the place in pink and black triangles, there was a raffle and a dance off to Vogue, but hey this was New York right? So it couldn't be like that. Could it? Besides they had Franky Knuckles playing. Why was I worrying?

OK to be frank, the NYC Gay scene that I saw (and my mate Simon reckons I did it all wrong) was overall a little on the odd/shabby side as far as venues was concerned, but the guys certainly know how to party! They're also incredibly welcoming and friendly and I had a blast. The place went off - the music was excellent, I danced until I though my legs gave out and then headed off to the Eagle with Nick and his gang. The Eagle is the Manacle/Barcode/Hoist of NYC. And it's testosterone charged (well mostly) and steaming. Lots of fun, lots of hot muscly/furry/leather/denim boys, well at one end in the muscle pit; the rest were your usual dirty minded crowd at least. I'd tell you what kinda action went on at the pool table but my Mum is likely to read this and I'd rather let her guess, Sorry Mum.

Anyway by closing time, I was still raging - it was 3.00am, but I was still on Sydney time and so wanted to party.
Imagine my dismay when the boys hanging for cabs outside told me everywhere was shut.
"It's bedtime" I was told.
"But this is New York, the city that never sleeps?!"
"Oh the straight scene goes off... but that's it for us"

It seems like NYC is the city that never sleeps unless of course you're a 'Mo.

Will get to Sunday in next post... honest.

Holiday 2007: Day 1 NYC - Guggenheim & Natural History Museum

OK so what can possibly be said about NYC that hasn't been said already?
Well to start with I hadn't expected to like it. NYC is the new person everybody tells you you're gonna love. Your sister things they're great, your colleagues all rave about them, your best mate thinks they're so cool, even your Mother thinks they're the best thing since sliced-bread! So you instantly go in there a sceptic. No-one's that great. Why are they so special? There's no way they're that fabulous. You know they won't impress you. Well that was me and the Big A. At first it didn't seem that fantastic. Yeah it was big, but then so is London and yeah the skyline's impressive, but Sydney's is pretty beautiful too. Yeah, nonplussed that was me.



Day one started at the Guggenheim.

Now call it jet lag if you must, but something emotional happened to both myself and Jonathan my travelling buddy at this amazing institution. Gutted that the facade was covered up during restorations (we'd been told that the building itself is the best thing about it), we didn't recognise the wow factor of the building's rotunda until we were smack bang in the middle of it looking skyward.
A wide ramp climbs snake like up the wall, round and round, you're aware of the space held around you and- there's a feeling of gravity pressing down on you as you walk slowly up it.



At each storey there is a doorway leading off to that specific floor of the Tanhausser, the part of the museum that houses different sections of the museum's permanent collection. In the Rotunda there are installations and works positioned in alcoves and niches in the walls as well as on the floor and overhanging wide open spaces. The exhibition currently showing was The Shapes of Space (showing until Sept 5) and looks at how we perceive space or as the G puts it - "the elastic notions of space".

It blew me away.

There was a guide there who explained how Dan Flavin's light installation was a way of examining light, something we usually take for granted; how it impacts upon our perceptions and how it defines the space; when she stands on the opposite side of the installation the space between us is defined by the light. She then went on to explain how modern artists use modern concepts and technologies - in this case fluorescent lighting - to examine technology and its impacts on humanity. She then tied it in to Divisionism a movement in Italy during the mid to late 19th Century; a group of artists who did similar things in relation to light and its make up of colour. This for me was a new link, that modern and traditional were in fact doing the same thing in relation to their respective time frames. How did I miss this? Her passion was engulfing, she had us both gobsmacked. and it made us look at the rest of the exhibition with new eyes. I made a point of thanking her before we left, but I really wish I'd got her name to make mention of her here.

The last exhibit was a sheet of various sized discs cut out of reflective plastic - they magnify the view through them in tiny circles making up a collage of images - fantastic concept and such a labour of love to create! Jonathan and I took photos of one another in front of it. Tired smiles, but I think you can see the journey we'd just taken over the previous few hours...

From the Guggenheim we went on a walk through Central Park. OK Central Park is the size of Nottingham I swear. Well maybe Canberra. Either way it's vast and considering the cacophony that is NYC, is surprisingly quiet and tranquil.

It's a really beautiful park and you can see why New Yorkers hold it dear.

Next up was the Natural History Museum. The facade was used for Ben Stiller's movie "A Night in The Museum" so you knew straight away what sort of museum it was going to be - or did we?

Initially it really did feel like a stuffy 70's style museum, everything in glass cabinets - look into the yellowing perspex boxes and don't touch. Yeah sure they'd got the huge Dinosaur skeletons in the lobby, but stuffed elephants and dummies wearing Indian costumes?

And then we went downstairs to the marine section. Wow! Not just seeing a giant blue whale model dwarfing the sea of people underneath it, but the way the Eco-diversity exhibit was presented with 'family trees' of animal groupings climbing the walls was astounding and a real visual treat.

Jonathan loved the space exhibit and I must admit, the full-on Dinosaur exhibit on the fourth floor bounced me back into my inner 8 year old and happily so!



We staggered back to our Pod (the hotel was called The Pod and rightly so, tiny rooms but perfectly laid out so every space is used and so well presented, iPod dock/radio, gorgeous clean bathrooms and very very funky!) for a little R&R before going out to hit the New York scene.

I'd met Martin a guy from Sydney, online about three weeks before and we'd decided it'd be funny to make out first meeting in a bar in NYC as we'd both be there at the same time.

Jonathan and I rocked up to the Bear night at the Dugout and after a couple of beers decided to head on somewhere else. Of course the world is the size of a postage stamp so it was no surprise when I ran into Martin on the street with a cute straight friend of his. We all went over the road to Ty's where we had a blast talking to strangers. One of which was a great Puerto Rican guy called Richard who we chatted to all night, persuaded to come visit Australia and then forgot to swap numbers with- so Richard if you read this remember you have somewhere to stay in Sydney!


All in all a good start to the holiday.